NEW YORK — Frontman Derek Hughes of local hardcore band 10th Period Beatdown was shocked after he noticed a large chunk of the microphone he held into the crowd had appeared to be bitten off, basketball jersey-clad sources report.
“I knew once we started playing ‘Besta My Crew’ the crowd was gonna get hyped. But what I didn’t expect was someone in the crowd munching on this mic like some sort of ice cream bar,” Hughes explained. “As soon as we got the first chorus, I ‘Rollinsed’ it, putting the mic out for the crowd like I always do, then I heard a huge crunch. At first, I thought maybe someone had broken their spine. Turns out, someone took a bite out of my microphone like an apple. And to think, it had almost been a full month since the last time this occurred. I can’t keep buying new mics because of this.”
Hardcore fan Jimmy Otz was instantly embarrassed when he realized what he had done.
“I just want to start by saying I’m sorry and will pay the $9 in mic damages,” Otz said, adding the fact he’d been waiting around all day for the show and skipped lunch. “I guess I just got a little carried away. You work up quite a hunger in the pit. Also, I just so happened to have brought a bottle of horseradish with me I’ve never had before and really wanted to try it out. One thing led to another and all of a sudden I had a mouth full of mic wires. These things just sort of happen.”
The venue’s sound guy Bruce Jasper says this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.
“With these hardcore and metal shows, we get all kinds of starving people in here, and they’ll eat anything other than the tater tots we sell at the bar,” said Jasper. “One night Motörhead was playing here and at the end of their set, I saw Phil Campbell toss his guitar picks into the crowd and some moron looking for a nosh was catching them in his mouth like a dolphin at SeaWorld! I couldn’t believe it, they didn’t even look nearly as delicious as the drumstick that was thrown out to the crowd earlier in the evening.”
At press time, Otz became increasingly more alarmed after noticing large chunks of his jeans missing during a routine stage dive.
